experiencing a plethora of emotions about it. NOTE: This post is a littly risky because it makes me look like I lead a less than perfect life which is such a faux pas in the blogging world!! {Sarcasm intended here.} Even though I have a two year old who is years away from being in school, for some reason I feel a little bit bogged down at the thought of long summer days with her. She's tired of most of her toys, and frankly, I think a little sick of hanging out with me all day long. Sheesh - I need to buck up! At the same time, I'm stoked to swim at our pool whenever we want, fire up the grill {that Brent so happily came home with from Sears on Memorial day}, use our Season Passes to SeaWorld, hopefully hit the Zoo and Six Flags a few times, free kids movies at the local theatres, etc. But here's the real reason I'm posting today - I have always been a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of girl. I like this trait about myself but at times I can drive myself totally insane because of it. Today is one of those days! I accomplished NOTHING I had set out to do this morning and I'm not even sure why. Is it because I don't have enough structure or routine? Is it because I don't make enough lists and I don't always do my laundry on the same day? The thing is, I don't always like having all my days planned. Knowing that I HAD to grocery shop on a certain day and that I HAD to do laundry on wednesday would drive me nuts! But, at the same time, I totally envy those of you who have your life set up this way because I'm sure you have a good thing goin'! I know, I am sounding so weird right now. Don't judge me -- just listen. :) My husband refers to me as an "organized mess." HUH? What does that even mean? Is it a compliment? I think not! I think it means that I may appear to have things organized but that behind the scenes I'm really a mess. Or is it that I appear messy, but I have it all planned and plotted out in my head? Actually, I'm not sure which of these is better! I think I need a happy medium. But what will that be? It's going to take some trial and error, and patience but also discipline with myself. I need to have certain days and times of those days when what I am doing is set and I also need the same with free time and open days that are left up to me and whatever we feel like for that day. I don't ever want to be bored and I think I've been bored today {gasp!}. My great-grandmother, Emily Bennett, had a motto for herself that she was never bored because there was ALWAYS something productive she could be doing. Isn't that so true? I love it. There really is always something to work on, read, clean, someone to help... the list goes on, right? I beg for my own free time as a young Mom. But I have a feeling that when my kids are out of the house, I won't want so much of it, but that's good right? Because I will have learned how to use my time more wisely and mastered everything that this post is all about! Okay.. back to the topic at hand.......I think I might try an actual "routine" this summer because I desperately need it. There, I said it. The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one, right? Whoa - that was really scary to say, too. In the meantime, please share your "secrets" with me. You know what I mean. Those things that make you really good at keeping structure in your life, household and family each day.
Wish me luck!
p.s. Thank you for reading my very candid post about my less than perfect life. :)
10 comments:
So I know I probably seem like the wrong person to comment here becuase I know I seem SUPER into "my routine." But honestly, it's my routine that actually GIVES me freedom! I know that doesn't make sense right now, but once you start doing it full fledge it will totally make sense.
I know I am boarder-line obsessed with having organization in my life (which is why I NEED friends like you to add balance and spontinaety!!). The reason I am this way is because it makes me feel SO liberated. During the periods of my life that I haven't been too organized (and YES, I certainly have those days/months) I wake up each morning wondering what I am going to do that day, but at the same time feeling overwhelmed by all that I should be accomplishing. I end up just sitting there and get nothing done! Ironic, huh?!
Everyone has to find what works for THEM, and it has taken me 22 years of experimenting to FINALLY find a system that I love. I wake up and honestly look FORWARD to my "chores" because the sooner I finish them, the sooner I can "play." Of course, you ALWAYS have to leave room for flexibility (you know, like when your friends want to do crafts on a day OTHER than your project day...Haha, j/k). And I totally have to switch things around sometimes, but I always try to check it off my mental list, even if I have to trade a few days' schedules around. For example, since Monday (my laundry day) was a holiday and we played all day, I swapped it with Tuesday's chores (grocery shopping day). It worked out perfectly, and I never felt guilty or overwhelmed.
Anyway, I'll be anxious to see how you like having a schedule...I think you'll end up loving it! Remember, it can be a SUPER basic and flexible one (especially for the summer) so you don't feel so tied down. You can even just have 2 or 3 days in the week that are scheduled and leave the rest open to "as needed" days if that works better for you. But remember, there is something about the summer that screams "lazy", "unplanned", "relaxed", and "spontaneous", so don't feel bad if the schedule thing doesn't work too well until the fall!
P.S.- Sorry, I didn't mean for this to turn into a novel!
Great advice from your friend Alyssa. I am still laughing out loud about your post Bethany! Don't fight the need for structure, it doesn't mean you've failed. I agree that it gives you more freedom which equals peace of mind for me. I have to admit, specific days for laundry, food, etc. is a bit more than I do; however, if it works...do it. I think you just need some more friend time, you and Brooke. I'm sure you'll figure it out! Your hillarious by the way.
I think its awesome that you can fly by the seat of your pants. I wish I had a little more spontaneity in me. I tend to like a plan and to know what's going to happen, but at the same time am not structured and committed enough to get follow through, complete the task, or arrive on time.
I think you're right...the trick to it all is finding a healthy balance between organization and chaos; structure and loose ends; work and play.
Beth, i totally agree with you; i would LOVE to have a structured routine. Cache has his routine, so i pretty much base my day around that...i wish i had a routine for me too...but, at the same time, it's kind of nice to do what i want and not have my 'routine' get in the way of fun things that come up...because usually there is nothing stopping me from it! Good LUck with it...maybe i will try it too!
Hello Bethany, you are to funny and to hard on your self at the same time.
Having O.C.D. Well I love to clean, organize, cook, work in the yard and listen to music .. That's my thing. But I have always been this way.. I get over whelmed when I want to be in the yard and in the house at the same time. I love
working in the yard. But I hate an upset house.
Also when I start getting low on groceries in the fridge in hate that. We always have people stopping by, and I am always cooking up something for the guys to eat (which I love to do). But I alway have to make sure we have everything we need in the fridge.
I really don't have to much time for my self. Jim keeps me hopping. But when I get a little time for me,I love to listen to my music and work in the yard.
Not having kids I know our life is way different than yours, but at the sametime I do have JIM.....
Bethany you are still so young and have lots of time to learn structure. It will come. If your an "organized mess", you've got it half down and the rest will come.
Maybe just make a list of all the things you want to get accomplished in a week and do it. Try to get everyting done early so you can get out and enjoy your self... I Love you
I am still learning too. I don't have any wisdom to give, except to tell you what I do... I am with you on not liking chores on a certain day, and I think I'll always be that way. I do laundry when it needs doing and grocery shop after I have extinguished all meal possbilities! (Mike's idea is we save money the longer we go without shopping--and we are in a money saving mode! You'd be surprised what you can cook with what you have around. But don't worry, I've got have weekly produce! :)) I look forward to the day that I have my own yard and can grow some of my own food. I try to involve Maddie in all of my work so she can learn responsibility and that work can be fun.
I certainly don't have it figured out either. I feel really behind right now after being gone for 2 weeks--I am still catching up on cleaning and laundry and have 3 books to finish, plus stuff for my calling, training for my run, etc, etc, etc! Never enough time! I am like your last comment and tend to make a list at the beginning of the week and work toward it until I get it done.
This topic inspires long comments! I also wanted to say, when it comes to Maddie I do try hard to have a schedule. It helps us both. Mondays we walk with friends, Tuesdays we have meetings (RS), Wednesday is park day, Thursday is play group and craft day (with mom), and Friday we walk again. So we have some structure... but everyone is different! You will figure out what works for you!
Seriously the coolest people ever read my blog! I am one lucky lady to have such fabulous commenters.
Bethany we are more alike than I ever imagined. One thing I did as a young mother was I forced myself to use the morning to clean, do laundry and chores and then the afternoons were free to read, play, work on hobbies. I hate lists because as I put it "I don't like to tell myself what to do!" You are doing great. Love ya!
Beth, Just got back from Sea-town and I loved your post. All the comments were wonderful too. Dr. Scott Peck, in his book "The Road Less Traveled," told about having a very wonderful woman as a patient who had a hard time with structure v. spontaneity. He asked her one day if she liked chocolate cake. She replied in the affirmative. He then asked her which part she ate first to which she replied,'the frosting of course!' He suggested that she try eating the cake and save the frosting for last in her life. She told him that this was the biggest and most important single piece of advice she had ever received. She had achieved balance--doing the tougher stuff first and leaving the good stuff for later. So--there you go. I think you are a beautiful, wonderful mother and you get more done than yo realize. Also, your summertime angst is sympathy pains for your sisters and for all the summers with me. You know that I have always been full of aphorisms ad infinitum. Here is one--"Nothing is more fatigueing than an incompleted task." EMERSON Besides you are a Keirsey J right? You gotta be more structured than you realize. Anyway--enough of that. Love you, call me.
really late commenting because i'm really late reading! first of all, i loved your post. i love honesty. and i think it's important for us to realize that we're all normal women, and not to use our blogs to look perfect or happy all the time.
i have a bit of a schedule, if it helps. i have different rooms that i clean on different days. the only reason i do this is so i don't get stressed about cleaning, i can just relax and know that by friday everything has been done. so i clean the kitchen and the living room on monday, the bedrooms on tuesday, the bathrooms on wednesday, etc.
and then i try to fill in the empty spaces with fun things for ava and seth and still provide enough time for myself to do all of my "me" things: like my photography, or my writing, or my reading-- the things that are the woman stuff and not the mom or the wife stuff. and then, of course, you add the wife stuff and the church calling stuff.
it's good to be fleible and spontatneous. it's important not to be too hard on ourselves if we need to move the schedule around and it's really important not to force ourselves to work with things that don't suit outselves simply because we feel we should.
yeesh! i just wrote a novel like everyone else! thanks for a great topic. i loved reading about other schedules.
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