2012

2012.

Seriously?

How is it really 2012?

I feel sad that 2011 is over and that it passed so quickly yet really grateful that it's over (ha!).

We are ready for a new year.

We are starting it out with a bang and moving to Utah a week from today.

Yep, just like that I said it.

This has been in the works pretty much from the last time I blogged in October until now. I don't even know how to put into words how I feel about it because I feel quite a few different things about it.

I'm going to try--

This is the first move I've ever made in my whole life that I've been sad/terrified/anxious/worried about. Okay I take that back.

But that doesn't mean that it is not the right thing because it is.

I just really really like Texas and I really really really like San Antonio and you see -- we've really planted roots here and bought a house here and this is the longest we've been anywhere the whole time we've been married and so I am just sad. It's funny because we moved outside of Utah for a grad. school adventure 5 1/2 years ago and even though I knew it was right I was sad/terrified/anxious/worried about it. (Are we seeing a pattern? Should I really have learned by now?)

I just didn't want to be outside my comfort zone and the bay area of California was a total culture shock to a 22 year old me.

BUT, it turns out I really loved it there and felt foolish for complaining the first 3 months we were there. And then, moving to Texas from California was really easy and fun to do because we finally had a paycheck and our first home! It didn't take long to adjust to life in Texas.

In fact, there isn't much about this place that I don't like. Ahhh! It's hard to sum up how you've felt about the events of the past 5 years of your life, but can I just say that I think I may have turned into a grown up and I feel like I might be proud of myself for doing that? And that maybe that's why I'm a wee bit nervous to go back to Utah because I've grown accustomed to and comfortable with being uncomfortable in different states, cities, wards, and away from family and there's something to be said about doing just that.

Don't get me wrong.

I love our families and it's going to be so wonderful to see them more often. But this is probably the exact way it needed to happen for me. I needed to move AWAY to see and learn and feel many many things. And let me tell you, much has been learned individually and with Brent. I am a different person because of California and Texas, and I'm grateful for those differences. I could probably even say that I like and know myself better than I did 5 years ago. And it's not just these places, but the PEOPLE. Oh, the people we have met in the last 5 years! From all different places and walks of life and I love them. There are women and friends that have taught me and they don't even realize it. They have been my family while we've been away from family. So many wonderful people. The women that I have been blessed to know have helped me grow from being a girl to a woman, and an insecure new Mom, to a more confident Mom of two. And I'm happy to say that I now have the perspective of the church outside of Utah. It's such a wonderful thing to be in the "mission field." It has been hard and eye-opening but I love the new perspective I have. And I love that I get to take all the love and experiences from these people and the places and move to Utah to start a new chapter in our lives as a new and different Bethany and new Guerisoli family. I don't know how long we will be in Utah or if it will be forever. And I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to San Antonio and the people I love here. But of this I do know: life is just as difficult and HARD as it is beautiful and fulfilling. I know that Heavenly Father blesses us with the things that we need in our lives when HE thinks we need them. He has a plan for all of us. And I'm ready to go back to Utah and see what the plan for us is there.

So, if you still read our blog (anyone?), come and visit us in sunny St. George!

And if you know of anyone who needs friends or is renting their home in St. George, let us know - we need friends and a place to live! Ha.

Pictures to Cherish

My lovely friend came over on a Sunday afternoon when Brayden was just 3 weeks old. She doesn't think these pictures look that good but I absolutely love them and will seriously always cherish them. Even though that first month with a newborn can be crazy and chaotic, I look back on those days fondly. As a couple and a family, we grew closer and were humbled by this sweet addition, which I think was captured in every photograph.

GRAMMY

It is only appropriate that I post about our trip to Midway, Utah for my Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary in August now because my Grammy passed away last Saturday, October 2nd. She was fighting breast cancer for the THIRD time and all just hoped she would live for the celebration with her family in August because she loved having her family together and she loved a good party. I am so grateful I was able to see and spend that time with her in August. It is not easy being one of the only grandchildren away and to have not seen her on a regular basis for the last 4 years. Grandparents and especially grandmothers are such special people and we almost don't realize it until they are close to leaving this earth. Second to my parents and own mother, my Grandma gave me the foundation for a testimony of Jesus Christ, that I am a daughter of God, with divine nature, and all the responsibilities during this earth life that come with those blessings.

I was able to be in Utah last week for the funeral for 48 hours, sans Brent and Brooke. It was an incredible blessing and a wonderful spiritual experience to be there and help pay tribute in a small way to her life and the person she was. My grandparents have given us such rich heritage provided through many traditions and an example through living beautiful, Christlike lives. I am so proud to be a part of the family that I am and I know that my siblings and all of my cousins feel the same way. And along this note, I am the only one of my grandma's posterity that carries on her name, 'Elen.' Also the reason why it was so important to me for Brooke to have this middle name. One of the wonderful parts about the gospel and what we believe in the plan of Salvation is that while death is difficult and hard for us to deal with, what wonderful comfort we find in the knowledge that we will see these loved ones again. And not only that but we have their entire life to use as a pattern for how we should live our lives. If there was one thing I took back to Texas with me, it would be to live as Christlike as my Grammy Elen did. Thank you Grammy for your example and love!

Precious Picture - Grammy ELEN and Brooke ELEN, Midway - August 2010

Grammy, Brooke, me, Brent, Grandpa

The last night we had a dinner and dancing at the Homestead resort. I had to include this picture of Brooke dancing with my sister, Meg. Pretty darling.

Old pictures

While trying to go through some of my old folders on our computer, I found some old pictures I haven't seen in a long time. Old pics make me feel so nostalgic, missing family and friends. I love thinking about the happy memories made, though.

My 3 sisters on my wedding day. Amy (6 months pregnant with her 4th in this pic), Krista, Meg. I miss my sisters. A lot.

This has the date on it and I can't believe it was 5 years ago! This was the last trip my family took to Lake Powell before selling the boat. :(

I think I was about 30 weeks in this pic. Meg was not, but wanted to act like it.

Spur of the moment trip to Disney in October of '03. Brent and I were still dating!

Ah man, just a classic. High School Graduation Day. I hardly see these girls anymore but sure do love every one of them. p.s. I am blonde here, bottom left in the polka dots.

Feeling nostalgic

about my "baby" today. How is it that she looks and acts so grown-up all of the sudden?

This was taken yesterday before church.

And here is my baby Brookie exactly one year ago. She was the world's most smiley baby.

Maybe it's because she left for 2 minutes and came back to find me looking like this. And I might miss baby"ness".

But, at the same time, I wouldn't change anything for this grown-up almost 2 year old smile.

Halloween Memory Lane

So, I was going through old pictures today and found a picture of Brent and I at the Halloween party of some friends (shoutout to the Andrews!) two years ago. The party was fantastic but the experience of when we got there and walked in was a little embarrassing. I remember there had been a BYU game that day and we had got home late, with barely enough time to throw together costumes. I think I asked my friend if we should dress up and if everyone else was and I think she said, "sure!" So of course I stressed over what we should be and how we were going to put it together. We quickly drove to D.I. and they had nothing. Then we went to Walmart and they had nothing left. As a last resort we tried Saver's because I had always found things for the Halloween dance there in High School. I picked up this little packet that had a devil's tale and horns, showed it to Brent and he complied. When we got home, I told him to get out some of our extra white sheets and start wrapping them around himself. He then proceeded to tell me that he thought it was really dumb that I was going to be the devil and him the angel. I told him it would be funnier than the other way around. After going back and forth, he finally conceded. He even let me put glitter around his eyes (click on the picture to zoom)-what a man! He complained the whole way there and I admit now that inside I felt bad for making my husband dress up like a girly angel. We had finally arrived ready to make our debut. We walk in and guess what? Everyone was wearing jeans!!! I felt so dumb. It was like we walked into a casual party wearing a formal and a tux, or vice versa maybe. The only person even remotely dressed up was my friend hosting it, who I think was wearing ladybug wings. Brent turned and glared at me and I could see in his eyes how embarrassed he was. We ended up getting a picture and having a really great time, but it is for this embarrassing experience that I still struggle with what to be if we have a Halloween party to go to and how much to dress up. (See Poll)